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From Christine Jorgenson to Amanda Le
Pore, many colourful male-to-female transsexuals have graced the
media over the years. Now the FTM’s are fighting back in the shape
of Buck Angel – a muscular, tattooed, he-man porn star who has a
little surprise downstairs. Though he has had a sex change, Buck
chose to keep his vagina as he wasn’t impressed with the
phalloplasty options available. Now he is keen to act as a role
model for future generations who find themselves in a similar
situation.
I asked Buck how he likes to be
introduced to polite company – “My standard introduction is I'm Buck
Angel - the man with a pussy. I'm the first - and still the only -
female-to-male transsexual in the mainstream porn industry. I was
born female and had a sex change to male, but kept my pussy.”
At birth Buck was named Susan, but it
soon became apparent there was little lady-like about his demeanour,
he has been treated as a boy since childhood. “I lived as a boy for
years before I started taking testosterone. In fact, my parents
called me Buck instead of my girl name when I was growing up.”
As Susan, Buck got work as a model but
was unhappy with his life and the female role he was supposed to
conform to. Inevitably this led to problems with drugs and alcohol.
“I have gender dysphoria – it’s a medical condition of being born
into the body of the wrong gender. My outsides didn’t match my
insides at all. I was the macho motherfucker I am now, but I was
trapped inside a female body. It was horrible!”
I’m always uncomfortable with the term
“dysphoria”, it indicates that those who don’t follow the correct
behaviour pattern for their physical sex are suffering from an
abnormality. I dream of a world where people are able to live their
lives and dress and act as they please regardless of their body
shape. I wonder if people would feel the same need to undergo
surgery if this were the case, Buck is certain that he would: “I had
to do what I did or die. I was desperately unhappy living as a
woman. Simply dressing as a man wasn't enough. For me it was
absolutely necessary to have a sex change. It wasn't really about
society or pressure from them, it was about me and how I felt within
myself.”
A lot of people instinctively approach
men and women differently and have varying expectations based on the
sex of the person they’re talking to. Buck agrees that the biggest
difference is in how he is viewed by other people since his sex
change. “People couldn't see who I was before. They saw a chick
instead of the dude that I really am and now physically embody. It’s
very interesting to have seen both sides and to note the differences
in the way people treat men and women. I am so much more comfortable
in my own skin now, more self assured and self confident.”
The common notion is that your gender
is determined by what you have between your legs. But Buck has
legally altered his identity – passport, birth certificate – to show
that he is male. Now he wants to mark the way for other people who
are transitioning and are uncomfortable with their physical shape.
“It’s sad there haven't been any FTM role models before me that have
appeared to hold the same perspectives as I do - that it is fine to
be out and proud as a man with a vagina. I feel great about being
there for other guys like me to show them that it is perfectly
okay.”
So is there anyone you looked up to in
the media before your change? “Believe it or not Madonna has been an
inspiration for me - I'm such a fag! She is an incredibly smart,
strong individual who has done as she pleases, followed her own
vision and succeeded. I am inspired by that.”
It’s this belief in vision that has
prompted Buck to take control of his own business and market himself
on the web. He now runs three websites including transsexual-man.com,
his pay-to-view site that claims to be “changing the face of porn”.
He also made history by being the first FTM to sign a 12 picture
deal with a major studio.
When the time is right Buck plans to
write a book and release a documentary about his life experiences,
in the mean time he is working on more movies and negotiating live
appearances in Europe and Japan.
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