FAQ
What is
a transvestite?
A
transvestite sometimes feels the need to dress and behave as a member of
the opposite sex. Some women dress up as men, but overwhelming,
transvestites are men who like to dress as women.
The vast majority of male transvestites like being men. They do not feel
that they are women trapped in male bodies and they have no desire at all
to 'become female' by taking hormones or having surgery to remove their
male genitals.
Men who are uncomfortable about being male or who feel they are not male
inside are said to have gender dysphoria. If their unhappiness and
discomfort leads them to take steps to change gender they are then called
transsexuals. Some women also have gender dysphoria and seek to change
sex, but they are a tiny minority of transsexuals.
Why do
men cross-dress?
No one really knows why some men have
this desire. Most men who cross-dress describe it as an outlet for stress,
and they tend to want to dress up more during times of tension at work or
at home.
Some men get remarkable relief from tension simply by wearing women's
lingerie (usually silk) under their exterior male clothing. These guys
often go no further than that with their cross-dressing. Most
transvestites, however, want to appear as female as possible in their
outer garments, and also want to wear make-up.
Men who cross-dress are not mentally ill. Indeed, psychologists in the USA
have decided that cross-dressing comes within the normal range of male
sexuality unless it becomes a compulsive obsession. Not every transvestite
is a secret transvestite. The well-known medical journalist and writer Dr
Vernon Coleman has often written about the enjoyment of wearing women's
underwear. Some individuals make their livings as transvestite artists
(drag queens) on stage and in clubs. Other performers cross-dress because
they seek to break down gender barriers, such as the famous stand-up
comedy artist Eddie Izzard.
Are
transvestites gay?
Well, Vernon Coleman and Eddie Izzard
definitely aren't. Interestingly, very many women lust passionately after
Eddie when he is in full drag with nail varnish. Some transvestites are
gay, of course. But the vast majority of transvestites claim to be
entirely heterosexual. As far as anyone knows, the incidence of
homosexuality among transvestites is no higher than in the rest of the
population.
Telling
other people
This has to be done very carefully.
Many transvestites feel frustrated that they have to keep this part of
their personality a secret, and sometimes their frustration erupts and
leads to very sudden and unwise confessions in the workplace. But the fact
is that many colleagues are simply not ready to hear that Gerry becomes
Geraldine at weekends. Telling your wife or partner is also difficult. Click
here for more info!
Many men do tell their partners, and some of these partners enter into the
spirit of the whole thing and actually help their men to dress as women.
These guys are very lucky as their wives/partners frequently stop them
from making horrendous style mistakes! Few women are entirely comfortable
with their man's transvestite behaviour.
A number of male transvestites want to go a bit further than simply
dressing up and going out - they want to make love to women when they're
'acting female'. The majority of wives/partners of transvestites are
definitely not happy with this scenario.
Some women do find that having sex with a man who is made-up and dressed
as a woman can feel decadent and quite a turn on. But far more women find
the whole idea quite alarming and off-putting, and no man should attempt
to force his partner into sex if she falls into this category. This
is something to take advice about from people who have experience in this
matter.
Dealing
with guilt
Transvestites can be very calm and happy
about their cross-dressing, especially if they
belong to a good support group, have some sort of social life as
their female persona, and have friends or family who accept their need to
cross-dress. I suspect that the vast majority of guys like this never even
think about having therapy because they find their lives fine as they are.
However, men who do feel overloaded with guilt should always seek counseling.
They will invariably feel much better for talking over the situation with
someone who is non-judgmental.
How to
cross dress
Many people cannot, or will not, try, to
understand why a man should want to dress as a woman, so it's important
that men who do this make as good a job of it as possible. Unfortunately,
many guys who cross dress fail to look convincing as a woman and people
snigger when they see them or sometimes act in a very hostile way.
Learning the art of dressing as a woman can make life much easier for a
transvestite.
Support
groups can provide advice on choosing the right clothes and
make-up. But, as a general rule, start by keeping things simple. Avoid
high heels, especially with sling-backs, until you have mastered walking
in women's footwear. And avoid glittery cocktail dresses until you have practised
moving, standing and sitting as a woman.
Shops
specialise in supplying women's clothing and shoes in men's sizes and in
helping men to perfect their female look. As a rule, shop in a place that
is liberal and accepting of different lifestyles. Clearly, if you live in
a small town you will excite comment if you shop for yourself in the local
women's shoe or dress shop.
The law
Cross-dressing is not an offence in the
UK and most western countries and if a man encounters the police while
dressed as a woman he is as entitled as any other law-abiding citizen to
courtesy and consideration. Of course, the police will be forced to act if
any manner is likely to cause or cause a breach of the peace. But those
rules are the same for the rest of the population.
More
on the law here...
Keywords:
transgender FAQ, transvestite Explained, risks.
